THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
Yes I have taken liberties with some classic stories about morals, however I believe that you might just approve, so I’m sharing this with you because I believe that you are an ant– not a grasshopper! Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don’t bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.
OLD VERSION :
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The Nation is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on ONET with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green…’
NUTS stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. J Wrong has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper’s sake. The President condemns the ant and blames all the former Presidents including the recent Obama, Bush, Clinton and Reagan, as well as Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.
Nancy BeLowsee & Harry Red exclaim in an interview with Larry Emperor that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it. The ant and other hard workers like him have disappeared from the job force, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood. As an epilog to the story, The entire Nation collapses bringing down the rest of the world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in the future!